The Investment Manager's perspective
Don't meet confusion with confrontation
One of the problems that comes with dementia is that people can often feel scared or confused. Not remembering something, or not understanding why something is the way it is, can make people confrontational, as they try to reconcile what they see with what they remember.
Of course, that can then lead people to respond to them confrontationally, resulting in a miserable time for everybody.
I always try to diffuse situations, though I can well appreciate that that is easier advice to give than follow.
I remember one client phoning me up, demanding to know why some shares we’d agreed to sell weren’t on his quarterly valuation. I distinctly recalled the conversation we’d had about selling the shares, so was certain that there hadn’t been a mistake our end.
There was no point going back and forth arguing over who was right though. I said that if he was really unhappy, then he should put his concerns in writing and send them in to our compliance department. They would then look into the matter, completely independent of me. We would make redress if needs be, and put his portfolio back in the position it would have been had the shares never been sold.
I didn’t receive a letter. His wife eventually got in touch and told me that he had been diagnosed with dementia, something which had felt like a possibility since the call. In my experience, it is often the partner or family members who get in touch to tell you about a condition, as people don’t like to admit to something they perceive to be a weakness.
If I need to talk about somebody’s condition, I will try to raise it with a family member. You normally get an opportunity to do this – if talking to someone on the phone, for example, they might mention that their partner isn’t very well, and I can pick up on that.
Talking about issues like dementia is never easy – particularly when you’re face to face with someone, rather than writing about it from the comfort of the office. But these things need to be addressed at the earliest opportunity, when they can then be planned around.
Hopefully my experiences here will help people do that, as well as the wider material that’s out there.
Our work with The Brain Charity
One of the things I’m most proud of at Quilter Cheviot is our work on raising awareness of dementia. There are more than 850,000 people living with the condition in the UK today and that number is set to rise significantly in the coming years.